are you so shy because you have an std?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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