her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
