Kiss
Puke
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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