Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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