this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
