How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
