just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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