We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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