I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
