you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
