oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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