Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
