K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
