I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
