bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
