Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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