i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
