you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
