How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
