My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
