It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
