She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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