can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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