you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
