I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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