there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
