i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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