It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
