thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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