yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
