Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize