Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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