The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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