Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
