yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
