I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
