apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
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