I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
