I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I AM VODKA MAN
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
