It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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