:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
