i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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