Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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