Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Mom said you looked used
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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