I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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