East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
