I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
