nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
