He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
