R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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