The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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