I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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