is your mom at the bar?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
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We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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