I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
