Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It's like God shit irony all over that family
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
