I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
