ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My ass is underappreciated
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
