I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize