i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's blow job season.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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