so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
